Is the first page of my book Ok? tell me if have any idea's on how to improve it?

In the middle of the night, The village woke to the sound of metal clanging against metal, accompanied by a woman鈥檚 cries of pain.

As the people of the village stepped out of their houses curious, The trees nearest the village burst into flames. people walked out into the streets staring at the flames. But as quickly as the mysterious fire came they disappeared, it was replaced with a beautiful blue light, followed by an explosion that shattered windows and blew debris throughout the town.

The next morning when some of the villagers came to investigate they found no scorch makes from the fire on any of the trees.

Later that day, A few Kid鈥檚 were playing in the woods. trying to convince a little boy with dark brown hair that it鈥檚 haunted,

they went deeper in. 鈥淲hat was that?鈥?Said a red headed girl stopping so fast that a tall blonde boy walking behind her ran into her knocking him to the ground. 鈥淲hat鈥榙 you do that for?鈥?Said the boy that ran into her, wiping dirt off of his pants. 鈥淚 heard something.鈥?The girl Said, agitated. 鈥淲-well I didn鈥檛鈥?said the boy with dark brown hair, his face turning white. They continued to walk, the boy with dark brown hair was now making his way to the back of the line.

鈥淥h stop being so dumb.鈥?Said the little boys brother Jeremy. 鈥淪he鈥檚 just making it all up, there鈥檚 no such thing as ghosts!鈥?Jeremy grabbed his Brothers hand and started to walk back to the main trail. 鈥淥h how manly of you. 鈥?Said the red headed girl. 鈥淒o you always ran away when things get too scary?鈥?Halfway to the trail he stopped. 鈥淵eah I hit nerve didn鈥檛 I鈥?鈥淎HHHHH!鈥?The boy with sandy blonde hair screamed and started running back. The others Ran to Jeremy鈥檚 side who was frozen to the spot. 鈥淥h my God鈥?Said the red headed girl. There was a woman with blue skin lying on the ground, she was holding tight to a bundle of blankets. 鈥淚s she. . . Dead?鈥?

鈥淣o, I don鈥檛 think so鈥?said Jeremy. He walked up to her and bent down pressing his ear against her mouth. 鈥淲hat are you doing?鈥?Said the red headed girl. 鈥淚鈥檓 trying to find out if she鈥檚 breathing!鈥?Jeremy replied. 鈥淲hy don鈥檛 we go for help?鈥? Said the tall blonde boy. 鈥淟ook at her she鈥檚 obviously dead. . . She鈥檚 got blue skin for crying out loud.鈥?

鈥淗ey guys, I think she鈥檚 alive鈥?Said Jeremy in a nervous voice.

鈥淎HHH!鈥?The Red headed girl screamed. The thought to be dead woman grabbed a hold of Jeremy鈥檚 shirt and rose up.

鈥淣eax nim tofet鈥?Said the Woman. Her voice seemed to echo through the forest, yet was soft and soothing at the same time. 鈥淲hat?鈥?Said Jeremy. She still held on to him by his shirt.

鈥淚 said which one of you is Elizabeth鈥?Said the woman. This time her voice didn鈥檛 echo through the forest and it was not soft at all. 鈥淲hat do you want with Elizabeth?鈥?asked the tall blonde boy, know standing by a tree just to the right of the woman. From were the tall blonde boy was standing he could just see pointed blue ears under the woman鈥檚 long brown hair. 鈥淚 was charged to take her to Alfheim the land were I live.鈥?br> 鈥淲hat do you mean you鈥檝e been charged to take her to. . . Alftime?鈥?said Jeremy, now trying to push the woman away but failing terribly. The woman tightened her grip, looked straight into Jeremy鈥檚 eye鈥檚 and said 鈥淣ever insult Alfheim! Alfheim is the Proud Kingdom of the Elves.鈥?

鈥淓lves?鈥?said the Blonde boy by the tree. 鈥渋s that why your skin is blue? You think you鈥檙e an elf?鈥?br> 鈥淣o, I鈥檓 not Elf, I鈥檓 a guardian. My skin is blue because I鈥檓 the Undine, the Guardian of the West gates of Atlantis. And King Frey has charged me with the duty of returning our Savior Elizabeth Hoveh.鈥?br> 鈥淲ell sorry to break it to ya crazy lady but there is no Elizabeth Hoveh in this town.鈥?Said the red headed girl. The woman let go of Jeremy and walked slowly to the red headed girl, cocking her head to the side she said 鈥淚 can sense great power in you. You鈥檙e a priestess.鈥?The woman got onto the ground and bowed chanting something under her breath. 鈥淚 think we should leave now before this freak pulls a knife out of her cape.鈥?Said Jeremy.

Is the first page of my book Ok? tell me if have any idea's on how to improve it?

1) 鈥淒o you always ran away when things get too scary?鈥?ran? no, run...

2) It seems rushed.

3) Too many colors and descriptions. The Tall Sandy Blonde Boy by the tree needs a name, type of too many descriptions.

4) I was caught quickly with the beginning, but then you skipped straight from the night and this freakish phenomenon, to the next morning, but what happened between then? And Parents wouldn't let their children out of the house much less into the woods after that, maybe weeks later when things had calmed down.

I could go on if you like...

Is the first page of my book Ok? tell me if have any idea's on how to improve it?

none leave it like that it was really good

Is the first page of my book Ok? tell me if have any idea's on how to improve it?

It is not as violent as it could be. Have the woman plunge a knife into the red-head, with the blood splattering onto the boy's faces.

Is the first page of my book Ok? tell me if have any idea's on how to improve it?

Why was she holding a bundle of blankets? What was the woman's scream? Why were just children investigating a fire that left no trace?

Is the first page of my book Ok? tell me if have any idea's on how to improve it?

I had a lot of the same thoughts as Amy. I'm not a huge fantasy reader but I thought it was interesting and would keep reading.